Places You Have Come To Fear the Most
by Someone Special
Summary: Lily and Rhiannon are best friends. But Rhiannon has a past that is catching up and Lily is trying to find her future. Add in the Marauders, including a James who is trying to change. LJ, SiriusOC,
1. Prologue

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Unknown Memories

Prologue

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Four people were out walking in a forest. There were two girls and two boys. They were acting like most people their age, fooling around and laughing. Other than the tens laughter the forest was eerily quiet. No wind rustled the branches, no birds called to their mates' just silence. One of the girls noticed this irregularity and went silent. Slowly the others quieted down, not knowing why, but doing it by instinct. They sped up wanting out into the warmth of the streetlights.

In a rush many things happened. There was a loud crack, the wind howled and they all screamed than froze. Through the wind they heard a swish of a cloak, then suddenly before them stood a towering black figure. He laughed, it wasn't like the laughter that had been ringing mere minutes ago, it was cruel and merciless. He looked over the frozen teens and picked his target. He pulled out his wand and aimed it at her. A flash of green appeared and the teens broke out of their trance. The other girl jumped in front of his target. She yelled 'RUN' before her body crumpled to the ground lifeless.

They ran, heeding to her request, even though fear gripped them. One of the boys tripped and another green flash hit. The remaining survivors ran holding each other's hand. The girl tripped bringing down the boy with her.

The man stood over them. He cried out an incantation and put a red X on the boy's chest. It disappeared down. A look of immense pain captivated his expression. The girl pushed the air with her hands and the man disappeared. The girl began to cry as she watched the boy died.

Above the forest a green skull with a snake protruding from its eye, glittered ominously.

A/N: Ok sorry this was so short. The next chapters will be MUCH, MUCH longer. I also know this was a really dark chapter but I tend to start my stories dark or sad. I hope the rest of it is a bit happier but I might keep like OOTP in darkness. Oh yeah the surviving girl is not Lily. She comes in next chapter. Well I'll probably update tomorrow or the day after. 


	2. So It Begins

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A/N: Well this the rewritten first chapter. Since I have decided to carry on with this story I was re reading what I had written before. And this chapter was not what I wanted it to be. I'm not going to tell you the exact reasons I'm rewriting but I'll tell you this, what I wrote did not fit in with what I plan to do with this story. Thanx for Reading. And PLEASE remember to review but no flames!

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Chapter 1

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Rhiannon stared out into the gloom from her seat alone on the train to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, She was surveying the landscape while contemplating how this school would suit her. It sounded so different from her last school.

Her thoughts then changed from the school to its students. Would they accept her?

She was quite beautiful but like most girls her age she didn't really see it when she looked in a mirror. She had wavy gold hair that reached down to just below her shoulder blades. She had a small nose and full lips. But her eyes are what everyone always noticed first. They were large and round with mystifying gray that had a tendency to change color to suit her emotions. She wasn't what you would call tall and had a tiny frame. She was also unhealthily skinny, with an almost breakable look.

She was about to get up and get a book when a pretty girl walked in. She had thick, dark red hair and startlingly emerald green almond shape eyes. She was about 5'5 and looked fit and lively.She smiled at Rhiannon.

"Hi! I'm Lily Evans, do you mind if I sit here. My friends are all making out with their boyfriends." She laughed and rolled her eyes.

Rhiannon smiled back.

"Sure, I'm Rhiannon Sray but everybody just calls me Rhi." She said it quietly and didn't quite look Lily in the eyes.

"Are you new here?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah, I'm a transfer student."

"Really? That's really cool, I don't think we have ever had a transfer student while I was here. What year are you in?"

"5th. You?"

"Me too!" She smiled toothily "I'm in Gryffindor."

"I've heard of that house! It's for brave people, right?"

"Yeah" She smiled sadly "But unfortunately Gryffindor doesn't have many people in it anymore."

"Why?"

"Bravery isn't a virtue that's easy to come by now, what with You-Know-Who about."

For a moment Rhi stiffened and her eyes changed from warm brown to and icy blue. But just for a moment. It was barely noticeable.

Lily did notice but decided not to question. She instead acted unfazed although she was interested about her eyes changing colors like that..

"In fact I'm the only 5th year girl in Gryffindor. All my girlfriends are older or younger or not in Gryffindor at all."

Rhi nodded sympathetically.

"So what's Hogwart's like? I mean are the classes hard, are the teachers nice, that kind of stuff." Normally Rhi wasn't this outgoing with people she had just met but she felt very comfortable around Lily.

"Well, It's huge and magnificent. The teachers are strict but for someone who gets along with them will do fine. The classes are hard but manageable." She stopped here, and gave a sarcastic smile. "It's a really good school. It wasn't tremendously hard for me in my first year even though I'm a muggle-born."

"You're a muggle-born?"

Lily's eyes flashed. "What do you have a problem with muggle-borns?"

Rhiannon drew back but immeidiatly replied. "Of course not. My dad was a muggle-born and one of my old closest friends was a muggle-born. I think people who are mean to muggle-borns are ignorant and incredibly stupid."

"Ok, sorry I just get a lot of discrimination." She then smiled "So where are you from?"

"Umm, I lived in Canada until I was 6 but then I went to New Zealand to live with my aunt and we just recently moved here."

"Your aunt?"

"Yah, my parents died when I was 6, and my aunt was my only living relative so I had to go live with her. What about you ?"

"I'm from London. My parent's are both journalists. I have a older sister who hates magic." Lily said it with a hint of sadness.

Rhiannon noticing that the subject had become touchy changed the subject to books, which turned out to be a good idea because they both loved books. Not just magic books but muggle books like Lord of the Rings, Pride and Prejudice, The Eagle and The Raven and that sort of stuff.

So the time passed until four boys rudely interrupted them. Lily's expression changed and she muttered venomously 'The Marauders'.

"Why hello Lily, It's wonderful to see you again!" exclaimed one of the boys cheerfully. He had very dark brown hair that feel into his eyes and was fairly tall, the tallest of the bunch. He had blue eyes and was extremely good looking and had a mischievous and fun look about him. He then noticed Rhiannon.

"And who may you be? I'm Sirius Black." He smiled charmingly at her.

"I'm Rhi." She smiled shyly back.

"I don't remember you. But I can't imagine forgetting someone as beautiful as you." Rhiannon blushed at this.

"I'm a transfer student."

A messy black haired boy stepped forward. He was a little shorter than Sirius and had chocolate brown eyes surrounded by round black glasses. He brushed back his hair making it even messier than before. He was good looking as well and had the mischievous look as well.

"I'm James Potter." He then winked at Lily. She scowled right back at him.

A light haired boy then smiled at her the same height as James and was equally good looking. He had tired hazel eyes but looked really nice and mischievous.

"I'm Remus Lupin and this is Peter Pettigrew." He said motioning towards the shortest boy. He had mousy look to him it was still cute. He had light brown hair and dull gray eyes.

James was standing, flirting with Lily who was completely dodging his advances. She openly rolled her eyes at Rhi.

"Well boys we're almost at school and still need to change!" She exclaimed pointedly

" Ok, Go ahead." James sat down. Lily smacked him across the head.

"LEAVE"

They shuffled out, James looking wistfully at Lily.

"So what's wrong with the . . . erm . . . Marauders?"

"Well the rest of them are okay but last year James decided to stop hating me and that he had to have me. He's a major player. So is Sirius but that's a whole other topic. Plus he's an arrogant prick."

"Oh!" Rhi smiled

Then the train stopped and they got off and rode up to Hogwart's in the horseless carriages. When they got to the great hall, a strict looking woman came up to the girls.

"You must be Rhiannon Sray. I'm Professor McGonnagal, you're to come with me to get sorted."

Rhi waved goodbye to Lily and followed the Professor.

Standing with the first years she watched them all be sorted until she was the only one left. Professor Dumbledore stood up to address the students.

"There is one more student left to sort. He is transferring from New Zealand into 5th year. Here is Rhiannon Sray."

She walked to the hat with her had held high and placed it upon her head. She sat there for about a minute until it called out 'GRYFFINDOR'. She smiled and went to sit down.

"Finally I got a roommate!" Lily cried out. Many of the students laughed.

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Lily was ecstatic at the fact she finally had a roommate. And she wasn't dissapointed. As well as a roommate she gained a best friend. You see being that she was the only 5th year Gryffindor she had many good friends but no best friend. All the Gryffindor girls stuck together like glue so those were her friends for the first five years. But now as well as being their friends she had someone she could be close with.

So the year passed by smoothly with much studying and even more pranks (Thanks to the Marauders). After Lily's prodding that she needed to get out there, Rhiannon got a place on the Gryffindor quidditch team as their newest chaser along with James and a 4th year named Alison Kamieson.

Lily was the type of person who was friends with everyone and incredibly outgoing. She was the top of her year and was good at almost everything, except she had a paralyzing fear of heights so quidditch was something she didn't do. But as Rhiannon became better friends with Lily, she also became friends with Lily's friends. She wasn't a very outgoing girl but Lily brought out her louder side and the shyness faded away so that she too was friends with a lot of the school. And so the fifth year ended and their story really begins.


	3. Glimpses

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter nor am I affiliated with it! And I don't own any rights to the Dashboard Confessionals song "_Places You Have Come To Fear The Most", _although it is a great song!!

Chapter 2: Glimpse

Laughter rang through the almost empty hall, as four teenage boys ran around the corner and right into Rhi and Lily. They had been having a quiet coversation and now had the deer in the headlights look going on. But it soon dispersed as they realized just who had barged into them. Lily smirked and Rhi just burst into laughter.

"Why hello fair maidens! How is your fine evening going?" Sirius exclaimed with an undying energy.

"Who'd you prank now, guys?" Said Lily, brushing off the question.

"We did not prank anybody!"

"Okay then . . . who did you 'not' prank?"

"We did not turn Snape's hair pink , nor did we make it grow down to his waste. And we certainly didn't put him in a yellow dress!"

There was another bout of laughter. Rhi just smiled, enjoying this interaction more than any of them knew. Sixth year had just begun a week ago and she was going to enjoy it.

* * *

First Gryffindor Quidditch Practice!

Tonight at 7:00

Be there!!

_James Potter_

Rhi smiled down the table to the Marauders, waving the letter she had just received while picking at her dinner. Of course she had already known of the practice. The whole team had. It had been posted there all week, but she also knew how seriously James was taking being the quidditch captain.

After dinner she made her way down to the pitch. James and Sirius were already there, and that was all. But she was early. There were already in the air, so she just sat on the bleachers and pulled out a book. After about 5 minutes, Sirius flew down next to her.

"You do realize that during quidditch practice you have to fly."

She held up her broom. "I am perfectly aware of that but quidditch practice has not yet begun."

"Come on!" And in one swift movement he grabbed her and jumped on his broom, taking them both up and up.

"SIRIUS!" She screamed over the wind. She was more than a little freaked out but also found it surprisingly fun. So she threw back her head and laughed. They landed in the middle of the pitch at the same time as James. She promptly smacked Sirius jokingly, and walked away to get her own broom. Sirius just watched after her.

* * *

Lily loved the library. Her life was always so hectic and was almost never quiet anymore, that she relished the time spent in the peacefulness of the library. But today the quiet was not to be found, as James walked in, his hair windblown from quidditch. He didn't notice Lily and Lily pretended not to notice him. He went to the bookshelf behind Lily's table, searching for a particular book. He grabbed down **Healing Potions: When Should They Be Used? **and that was when he noticed Lily. He sat down across from her, clutching the book.

"James Potter! In a library?!?"

A look of hurt flashed in his eyes for just a moment. "Contrary to your beliefs, Lily, I do need to study . . . every once in a while. You see there are these things called grades that I must keep up so that I can actually graduate." He said as if explaining school to child who had never heard of such a thing.

"I know what grades are, you idiot! You know I was having a fine time here by myself before you came along and began insulting me. You know you could at least be nice to me, maybe then I'd return the courtesy, not just poke fun at me then . . ." But she never got to finish her sentence because a certain messy haired boy interrupted her.

"Hey Evans, you wanna go out sometime?"

"UGH!" And with that she stormed out of the library so loudly that she earned a disapproving glare from the librarian.

* * *

It was 3:oo am and Rhiannon Sray could not sleep. She could never sleep. But she didn't mind it so much. She loved this time of day, everything was quiet and everything seemed perfect. At this time, she could walk the line between sleep and awake, where there are no worries or fears. By this time the house elves had been through and cleaned, but no one was yet up doing last minute homework.

Then she heard steps and was suddenly fearful and on guard. She grabbed her wand and turned around to see Sirius, stumbling down the steps. She lowered her wand and smiled at him. He looked shocked to see her.

"Hey!" She offered.

"Hey, what are you doing up so late or early or whatever?"

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

"Same."

"I can never sleep, I'm here almost everyday"

"Woah, that sucks"

"Not really, I like it at this time in the morning."

"Oh, what are you reading?"

"The Silmarillion."

"I've never heard of it."

"You wouldn't have, it's a muggle book. But I love muggle books, they are almost all I read."

"Hmm, I've never read one."

"You should."

"Any recommendations?"

"Yah, you can borrow some whenever you want, I have a ton."

"I will."

They sat in a comfortable silent for a few minutes before Sirius broke the silence.

"What's it like in New Zealand?"

"I loved it there, it was so beautiful. I miss it."

"I want to go there. Just to get away."

"Get away from what?"

"I dunno, my family and all their expectations. They were so disappointed when I didn't get into Slytherin, and now they all hate me and treat me like I'm the most filthy thing to ever exist. I wish I could just leave, and never talk to them again. I mean everything I do is bad. I think the only way to redeem myself in their eyes would be to become a death eater and even then I don't think they'd forgive me."

Sirius didn't know what happened but he just knew he could talk to her. He was telling her things that he had only ever told James.

She didn't say anything, she didn't have to. All she did was hug him. He hugged her back, his head in her hair, tears threatening to fall, but suddenly everything felt a little better.

* * *

A/N: Wow! I wrote that in an hour. That's pretty good considering I haven't written anything in a month. This chapter is just to show you a glimpse into their life. I've started a couple of the story lines but there is still a lot to go. The next chapter should be up, at latest by next Sunday.

I am really sorry about the long wait for the next chapter, my heart wasn't in it, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with this story. But now I do. I have it all planned out, so now it should come fairly fast. I hope you enjoyed it. And if Rhiannon seems like a Mary Sue in this chapter, give me a little bit of time. I swear to you she is actually VERY screwed up. But of course I don't show that yet, the story has only just begun. It's called character development. For a good example of it watch "The Breakfast Club!" (It is a great movie!).

Also thank you to Rainy Day Parade for the review!! It made my day!!

Please Review!!! I need feedback to make the story even better!!

Thank you for reading!!


	4. Bad Days

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter nor am I affiliated with it! And I don't own any rights to the Dashboard Confessionals song "_Places You Have Come To Fear The Most", _although it is a great song!! **

**Chapter 3: Bad Days**

There are two types of bad days. One where you wake up late and then there is no shampoo in the shower and then the hits just keep on coming. It doesn't get any more frustrating when your day is full of incidents such as these. They may be trivial but they make life that much harder.

The other type of bad days, start off very differently. They start out as every average day starts out. Everything doesn't seem great but it also doesn't seem bad. But then something absolutely awful happens and from then on your day is ruined no matter what else happens.

Lily Evans had a regular morning. She had woken up at 6:30, had her shower, did her hair and put on a little makeup and pulled on her robes. Rhi of course was done all that by the time Lily woke up and was reading during Lily's rushing around. That took all of 40 minutes, and she was in the great hall, with Rhi by 7:30. Rhi was only having coffee as she said she was feeling ill. Lily had her toast with jam and coffee half finished when the morning owls came flocking in.

She was used to receiving letters. She got letters from her parents every other day. But she had just got one the day before so she was a little surprised to see another one so soon. She tore it open carelessly.

When Rhi glanced over she was shocked to see Lily trembling, with a look of horror on her face,

"Lily, hon? What's the matter?"

"They're ... uh … they're …" With that she handed Rhi the letter and ran out.

Rhi read it over and gasped her breath shaky. Sirius, Remus and Peter looked at her questionably.

_**Dear Miss Lily Evans,**_

_**We regret to inform you that on Friday, September 30, **_

_**your parents, Frank and Sofia Evans were found dead in their**_

_**homes. The Dark Mark was seen above the house, meaning of **_

_**course that they were attacked by You-Know-Who and his "death **_

_**eaters". They were killed by the avada kedavra curse and felt no**_

_**pain. You sister, Petunia Evans, was away from the house at the**_

_**time and is still alive.**_

_**Our Deepest Condolences,**_

_**The Ministry of Magic**_

James watched in concern as Lily ran out of the hall, distraught. He saw Rhi with a horrified look on her face as she read Lily's letter. So of course he ran after Lily. He ran out the doors, and knew trying to find her would be a lost cause. So he grabbed the Marauder's Map. He definitely knew how to think on his feet. But there she was on the edge of the lake, and James set off to find her.

He did find her there, curled up. Her red hair a sharp contrast to the dreary weather and grey lake. She was sobbing her heart out and looked tiny and delicate. He sat down next to her.

"Hey there, Lily."

She didn't answer.

"What happened?"

"They're … DEAD! … Oh … God…"

And then it clicked in his head exactly what had happened. This morning he had been reading the paper and on the front page the headline had proclaimed : **Muggle Couple Murdered By You-Know-Who. **They had refrained from names but now James knew exactly who they were. They were Lily's parents.

"Oh God" he echoed "I'm so sorry." She started sobbing heavier and he didn't know what to say. He had never experienced a loss like this. So he wrapped his arms around her, and let her sob onto him. He had a feeling though that it hadn't occurred to her, just who was consoling her.

James had led Lily up to the common room, where he found a frantic Rhiannon, waiting. She had spent an hour searching for Lily, but when she had found her, she had been surprised. For there was James cradling a sobbing Lily. So she left them alone, and went back to the common room. She knew they would be up eventually.

She had ran up to her, and hugged her gently. She didn't say anything. She knew that nothing could be said. James watched on. There was no one in the common room as classes were in session. None of them minded skipping though.

But just as Rhi and James had led her to a couch there was a tapping at the window. Rhi jumped up to get the letter the tawny owl was carrying.

"It's for you Lily."

"Who's it from?"

"…. Petunia."

Lily just stared at the letter in Rhi's hand. She grabbed it from her and tore it open carelessly. She began reading it aloud.

"Lily, I hate you. It is your fault they are dead, you and your freakish ways. If you had never been born, everyone's life would have been better. I would still have my parents. None of us would ever have to know about your world. We would all be so much more happier. You should have been the one to die. Not my parents. I wish you had. I hate you so much. If you ever come near again, I swear to god. You will regret it. I don't understand how you could be my sister. As far as I'm concerned I never had a sister! I HATE YOU! Petunia"

Lily was shaking and had become progressively quieter. Rhi reached out to touch her, but Lily jumped away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Lily I know how you feel." She spoke calmly but her eyes had changed to a clear blue.

"YOU CAN'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!! You don't know loss like this!"

"YES, I do. My parents have died."

"They weren't murdered and it wasn't your fault."

"They were, by Voldemort. And I know how it feels to believe it was your fault. I lost three of my brought one down. We were running and I tripped and dragged him down with me. So I understand completely how you feel." Her eyes had changed to a dark stormy gray, and her eyes were unfocused. She spoke in a monotone voice but anyone could tell she was merely masking her feelings." I know that you feel like you should jump off the face of the earth. But you shouldn't. It's not your fault. These feelings will never go away, but I can promise you that you have suffered through the worst of it."

"And Lily, we are all here for you. We are here whenever you need anything. You still have us." James spoke. Lily looked at him oddly, as if seeing him for the first time. Then she let out a weak smile and nodded. Rhi watched on, with a sad smile on her face.

"Come on, I bet sleep sounds really good right now." Rhi invited Lily. Lily just followed her after whispering a quiet thank you to James.

Rhi padded down from the dormitory, to what she presumed would be a deserted common room. But to her surprise she found James sprawled on the couch. She dropped next to him.

"How's Lily?"

"Asleep."

"Really?"

"Well, I had to give her a sleeping draught. It's almost impossible to sleep naturally after losing someone so close." Then she noticed the alarmed look on James's face. "It's safe. Really. I use it often. It's prescription, from Madame Saers. I'm an insomniac."

"Oh."

"Yah." They sat there in a comfortable silence for about 10 minutes, when Rhi spoke up.

"That was really nice of you, to comfort Lily and all."

He gave a slight nod.

"I know that you really like her. To be frank, before I though it was just a little crush."

"I always thought it was, but now… I don't know."

"Wow. You know, she saw YOU today. Not the showman you, but the one who is a great friend. And I think she liked it."

"Really?" He perked up just a little.

"I mean don't get your hopes up, she is the most stubborn person I know, and she has this fixed view of you. Just keep up what you were doing before, and you may have a tiny chance. But that is probably harder than it sounds. And if you hurt her I will make you regret it."

"Um … Okay thanks."

He glanced over at her. She was fidgeting with her hands, and her eyes were darting everywhere. They had turned a greyish blue. If he had known her better he would have known, she was trying to find anything to distract her from her memories. That she would always talk a mile a minute, to find that distraction.

Lily's eyes snapped open, and she looked immediately over at her clock. It was 4 in the afternoon. Then it all hit her like a brick. Her parents were dead and her sister hated her. But Rhi had been right, it was already the tiniest bit easier.

Than she remembered what James had done for her. He had been so un-James like. He was decent, scratch that, he seemed like a great guy. She was surprised at his gentleman like qualities. But not surprised in a bad way. She had actually liked James right there, and had also considered him as a friend. A friend, but nothing more … right?

A/N: Ooooo so now Lily and James have a friendship of sorts … but will it last. Ok now I am soooo sorry about the wait for this chapter. It was not nearly the longest wait, but way past my goal of when I said I'd have it out. I am such a procrastinator. But in my defence, I have been swamped with school. My marks went way down in my mid-term, which kind of brought down my confidence, so I have been working to bring them up. Also I'm in a special arts program which requires a certain average, so it is especially important that I keep my marks up.

Ok this time I am not going to make any promises of when the next chapter will be up, but hopefully it will be soon, because I am on such a roll. It also helps SOO much that I wrote out a chapter outline. Every writer should do it!!

And I want to give a BIG, whale sized thank you to my lone reviewer, EW4eva . I'd buy you a chocolate bar (I'm sorry I'm poor) but unfortunately that's hard to do, considering I've never met you. But seriously, you made my year. I always appreciate reviews!! HINTHINT

So PLEASE review!!! Please, please, please. I am on my knees!!


	5. What Have We Done?

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter nor am I affiliated with it! And I don't own any rights to the Dashboard Confessionals song "_Places You Have Come To Fear The Most", _although it is a great song!! I suggest listening to it!**

**Chapter 4:**

It had been two weeks since Lily's parents had died. She was dealing. Rhi and, to her surprise, James had really helped her through it. In true Lily fashion, she was moving on, as much as possible. Trying to continue her life. It was just her way of dealing. She couldn't just keep sleeping, because she knew it would haunt her if she didn't deal with it right away. She never was one to procrastinate. She had spent a few days mourning and then despite her hearts protests she had started living again. It wasn't callous and cold, just who Lily was. She knew that although her parents' life was over, hers wasn't.

But that didn't mean she was over it. She cried, silently, every night. And began drawing as a way of getting her feelings out. Her sketches were dark and dreary, but they helped her get rid of those ever looming feelings.

She had also formed a tenuous friendship with James. Once she got to know him, he didn't seem quite as arrogant and as far as she knew he hadn't been bullying anyone. Their conversations were still awkward, and they often made it so that it wasn't just them alone. But it was an enormous change to everyone.

Sirius padded down the stairs from the boys' dormitory, quietly, hoping not to attract attention to this nighttime adventure. He was only going to the common room, but still did not want questions asked. As he entered the common room, he was not surprised to see someone sitting in front of the dying fire.

Rhiannon was sitting on the couch, in fleecy pyjama pants and a long sleeved red t-shirt, writing in a book. Her blonde hair was up in a messy bun, and slightly frizzy. She turned around as she heard him. He barely had time to marvel at her impeccable hearing before he was sitting next to her. She snapped shut her journal and graced him with a smile.

"Ah Sirius," She said in a mock-exasperated tone. " We have really got to start meeting at a decent hour, you know like normal people, not before sunrise." She brushed back a stray hair, her eyes sky blue and dancing with amusement. He just laughed, no witty, flirtatious response. Frankly he didn't feel the need to.

They sat in silence for a few moments, admiring the fire. She passed him a muggle book she had brought for him. He smirked at her, and she smiled, her eyes changing to a warm brown. She once more wrote in her journal, as he began the book.

He felt her near him, and felt warm from the inside to out. This shocked him. Never before had this feeling permeated him. He glanced at her concentrated face, glowing from the firelight, and felt a flutter inside. This feeling he knew quite well. He was no longer reading the book, as a rush of thoughts filled it up. How could he like Rhi? She was one of his closest friends. He normally just dated girls for a few days, never getting to know them; never really knowing whether he was attracted to them by anything other than theirs looks. But with Rhi, he knew he couldn't do that. Sure he liked her physically, but now he was emotionally attached.

"God look at the time!" His scrambled thoughts were shattered by Rhi's exclamation. "I got to go, see you at breakfast."

"Right."

* * *

"LILY! Get up!" Rhi yelled, it seemed to Lily, right in her ear. Lily jumped up to see Rhi quite calmly sitting on her bed, almost completely ready, and very laid back. Lily knew an alarm clock would never be necessary with Rhi as your roommate. Of course Rhi always looked tired and slightly unhealthy, and Lily knew that Rhi had problems sleeping, even when she took her sleeping draught.

Lily got ready and together they wandered down to breakfast. Lily plopped down across from James, who was at the moment pouring syrup on his waffles.

"Morning Sunshine!" James proclaimed in a fake chipper voice. Lily tried to scowl but it came out as smile. This gave James's heart a jolt. Every moment with Lily was gift to him, especially now that she was beginning to view him as a friend. He would do anything to make her smile.

To his right was Sirius, almost asleep in his waffles. Across from him were Rhi and Remus who were making mock bets on when Sirius would fall into the syrup-laden plate. Lily was listening to them; she seemed tempted to add her own predictions. Then she turned her attentions back to James.

"Did you know…"

"Yes?"

She laughed. " I honestly don't know, I just thought it would be a good conversation starter."

"You are weird!" He said jokingly.

"Thank you. Personally I think being weird is much more fun than being normal. And I think you agree with me."

"Are you implying that I am weird?"

"Why yes, yes I am Potter. Good spotting." He just smiled at her and to his great surprise a little tinge of pink had taken over her cheek and she was now busying herself with her breakfast. James could have done a dance on the table. Maybe after all there was a chance of him and Lily. That was what he wanted. Now just to make her realise that she too wanted that.

Next to him Sirius fell with a splat, face first into the sticky plate, with a great yelp from Sirius and laughter from Rhi, Lily, Peter and Remus.

* * *

Later that day, James was in a foul mood. Why, he could not say, for the day had had a good start. But after that it had deteriorated. Classes had been frustratingly boring and the weather was rotten, so he could not go for a nice calming fly. The other Marauders were not to found which vexed him to no extent. He at the moment was back to the dormitory where he planned to wait for the day to end, before he did something stupid. But alas, it was to late.

He was thoroughly annoyed by the droves of mindlessly chattering people that passed him. Then he saw a lone Slytherin 3rd year. He was the beater on the Slytherin house team and James remember that in the last match, the kid had taken a swing at one of James's fellow teammates, knocking her in the back of the head. James felt the anger course through him, and zeroed in on the kid. There were a few others in the hall.

"Hey Kid! So you think you can have a cheap shot one of my teammates and get away with it. TWIRLSIC!" The kid began spinning at an alarming rate, his cries echoing down the hall, a few students stopped to watch.

"POTTER!" Came a familiar yell, from a familiar redhead, who James happened to be infatuated with. James whipped around to see Lily looking absolutely disgusted with him. "TWIRLSTA" The kid stopped spinning, and preceded to be sick. Lily stood there glaring at him.

"You are sick, Potter, SICK!" She whipped around and stormed off. James pushed through the crowd and ran after her into a deserted hallway.

"Lily, wait!" He cried, desperation laced through out his voice. She stopped and turned around, her face a mixture of disgust, anger, disappointment and hurt. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't get it Potter!" He winced at the use of his surname. "I'm not the one you should be saying sorry to. You are exactly like I always knew you were, just an arrogant jerk, who thinks he has the right to bully others. All you ever think about is yourself. You don't care if it effects other people. Why, in the name of Merlin, would you randomly attack some lone kid?"

"In the last quidditch match, he hit Marcus over the head." Even to his ears it sounded feeble. Lily began to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! Just leave me alone. I don't want to be anywhere near you."

James stood there, feeling like crying. He had blown it bigtime. The look on her face haunted him. She had looked at him as though she didn't know who he was. He didn't even know why he had done it, his reasoning was so trivial. And her words stung, because he knew that they were true. He didn't blame her for not wanting to be near him, if he could he would get away from himself too. What had he done?

* * *

Lily sat there, tears leaking down her face. She was so confused. For years she had known exactly who James Potter was, and she knew that she wanted nothing to do with him. But then she had that idea shattered by a James that was kind, thoughtful, funny and endearing. She didn't know anymore, because it seemed she looked away for a second and he had changed back. Which made her wonder which James Potter was real and which was the façade. Why did he have to be so damn confusing? Why did he have to make her cry like that, after a friendship that hadn't even lasted a month?

Her anger had left as fast as it had come, and now she was left with an empty sense of confusion and guilt. The things she had said had needed to be said, she knew that but she also knew that they were hurtful.

Why was he able to hurt her like this? They had never even really had a meaningful conversation, but at the prospect of losing him she fell to pieces. Then it occurred to her that she had already lost the James that she was friends with. He had turned back into the bigheaded, bullying, jerk. And she stopped crying. Now there was nothing more to cry over.

* * *

Rhi and Sirius sat next to each other on a love seat. Rhi was sitting cross legged facing and Sirius was lolled back on the couch in her direction. It was very early morning or very late at night and the only light was that of the dimming fire and the almost full moon shining in from the window. They were engrossed in a serious conversation concerning their two respective best friends.

"I've never seen him so …. lifeless." Said Sirius worriedly.

"Well, when I came into the dorm, it looked like Lily had just been crying, she wouldn't what had happened though. She just brushed it off, but then I heard about James attacking that Slytherin and it made sense."

"Wait … Lily was crying over James?"

"It looked that way."

"Woah, but she's only been friends with him for what three weeks. And before that she hated him."

"Hate's to strong a word. She just greatly disliked him and steered clear of him."

"Well, I'm assuming 'cause of James's state she was pissed."

"Knowing Lily, she probably said some not so nice things to him."

"Yah, but I think he's a little sadder that Lily is back to 'greatly disliking' him. But I think he needs it."

"Why?" Rhi leaned a little closer, looking intrigued.

"Listen, James is my best mate and he really likes Lily but I think that is the problem. He only saw his friendship with her as a way of getting her to go out with him. If he becomes friends with her for the sake of being friends with her, that's when they will get together."

"Wow, Sirius that's really deep." She smiled, but looked as though she was suppressing laughter.

"What? You don't think I can be deep and meaningful." He exclaimed in a mock offended voice.

"Well, I think you can be, but the moments are far a few between." She then burst into laughter.

"Gee thanks." He turned away towards the fire.

"Come on, Sirius, I was joking." She moved closer and touched his shoulder. He felt tingly where her hand rested. He turned towards her.

"I know." He said it huskily, then leaned forward and kissed her. He didn't think, he just did. She fell into it and held her around the waist, theirs bodies almost touching. He was flying. Her lips were so soft and tasted like mint, cool yet hot at the same time. The kiss deepened and she cradled the back of his head. They broke apart. Her eyes were a bright green and shining. He smiled nervously at her, they were still so close. But then she jumped up.

"Rhiannon?"

"I … uh … gotta … um … go." She looked jumpy and sad and close to tears.

"Rhi, wait!" But she had already disappeared like a ghost, up the girls staircase. Sirius flopped onto the couch dejectedly, his head in his hands.

* * *

A/N: Wow, this is the biggest chapter yet and some stuff definitely happened. Still more to come though.

Ok so I got no new reviews last chapter. Ouch! But don't think that no reviewing my story is going to stop me. I am hell bent on finishing this story and hopefully people want me to finish it. Suggestion and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is encouraged! Just PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review!!! I like to know that people are reading it at least!!

Ok well it's late and I must go so Happy Belated Christmas and Happy Early New Years!!

Go on, Review!!


	6. Talks

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter nor am I affiliated with it! And I don't own any rights to the Dashboard Confessionals song "_Places You Have Come To Fear The Most", _although it is a great song!! I suggest listening to it!**

**I want to dedicate this chapter to The Original Safety Pin! Thank you sooo much!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Talks**

* * *

Rhi bolted up the stairs, away from Sirius. Outside her door she took a breath, flattened her hair and quietly came in, not wanting to disturb Lily. She lay on her bed even tough she knew that sleep would evade her. Her head was whirring, Sirius Black had just kissed her! They had just been talking and then wham, he kissed her. He was one of her best friends! 'But that doesn't mean you don't like him.' This thought caught Rhi by surprise, even more than the kiss. She liked Sirius. Oh no!

So very early in the morning, Rhi was left alone with this new revelation and the lingering feeling of Sirius's lips upon hers.

* * *

Lily and Rhi lingered down to breakfast early. Rhi had woken Lily earlier than usual but she looked so despondent that Lily didn't complain or ask questions. But Lily did know that something was up with Rhi. And Lily was determined to find out what had happened.

They entered the great hall to find only a few people. They sat down away from the other people and Lily turned to Rhi. Rhi pretended not to notice and was oddly preoccupied with buttering her toast.

"Ok. What happened?" Lily pried.

"What are you talking about?" Said Rhi feigning innocence.

"Rhiannon, you are my best friend and I know you. I also know when something has happened, so there is no point in pretending that you are completely normal."

"Fine! Sirius kissed me last night!" Rhi exclaimed!

Lily was flabbergasted. This was not what she had been expecting. " Wh …what? When? Where?"

"Well, umm last night me and Sirius were having one of our late night conversations…"

"What? You have late night conversations with Sirius? Oh my god! I knew that you would get up at night, I just didn't know that you would go to meet Sirius. Wow."

"I don't get up to meet Sirius." She replied curtly. "I get up because … well I can never sleep. You know that, and then neither can Sirius so we always end up talking. Anyway we were talking and then he kissed me! And I mean Sirius is one of my closest friends. I wasn't in the least bit expecting it."

"Wow. That is a lot of information for so early in the morning." Lily paused. " Do you like him?"

"What? … I can't … I mean…"

"Rhi! Do you like him?"

"I … don't know." Rhi knew that was a lie but she also knew that Lily couldn't understand why she was running. They lapsed into an awkward silence.

"So what happened with James?" Rhi ventured tentatively.

"Potter?" Lily exclaimed with disdain. "God he is such an arrogant, awful, immature jerk! He ATTACKED some random Slytherin. God I thought he had changed but nooo he is still a revolting bullying prick!"

Rhi just shook her head. Sure, what James had done was far from admirable, but James was her friend and she knew he was actually an awesome guy. She also knew that Lily was perfect for him and that she had a severe case of denial.

Then she saw the Marauders walk in, both James and Sirius looking uncharacteristically distracted.

"Uh, Lily I'm going to go ok?" She said nervously, standing up. Lily spun around to see the Marauders.

"Do you want me to come?" She replied sympathetically.

"No thanks, Lil. I'll see you in Herbology, Kay?" She forced a smile and walked away. Lily watched after her, worriedly, as she walked through the doors. To Lily's horror and jubilation Sirius had turned right around and followed Rhi out of the great hall.

"Lily?" Came a male voice timidly. Lily jumped. She hadn't noticed that anyone was approaching her. But then she saw who it was.

"What do you want, Potter?" She said bitingly.

"Please Lily, just here me out." His voice tinged with desperation. Lily of course thought this was a fake desperation and she snapped.

"Why don't you just SCREW OFF POTTER!" She desperately wanted to curse him right then, but common sense prevailed and she just stormed off.

* * *

Sirius entered the great hall, immediately searching for Rhi. There she was sitting with Lily. She glanced at him then muttered something to Lily and rushed out by him. He wheeled right back out, determined to talk to Rhi. Once out of the great hall he looked around hoping to see Rhi's retreating back but she had once again disappeared. He pulled out the Marauder's Map. After he located her on the map he rushed after her, using his knowledge of the secret passages to his advantage. He faltered as he saw her leaning against a wall. But he only faltered for a moment and rushed forward.

Her head snapped up, as she heard his footsteps, and grabbed her wand in her pocket. But her grip loosened when she saw who it was but she turned her head away and got up, ready to flee.

"Rhi, we need to talk." Sirius exclaimed boldly.

"I have to go Sirius." She sounded tired. She went to turn away but he grabbed her and she stopped.

"No. Listen to me. You don't even have to say anything. Just let me talk." Her silence was enough answer for him. "Rhi, last night…"

"What are you going to say, huh? That you were tired and you didn't know what you were doing or that it was just a one-time thing! What?" Rhi yelled suddenly. Sirius looked hurt and she immediately regretted her words.

"NO! God Rhi, I really like you but you appear to be hell bent against anything happening. All I wanted to tell you was that!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Sirius," He melted at her tone. "I like you too, but I can't, we can't."

"Why not?" She just shook her head, looking down.

"Because Sirius." She started walking away. Sirius stood there dejectedly.

"I will persuade you, Rhiannon Sray." He said aloud though she was to far gone to hear him.

* * *

Lily was rushing. Her bag was full of books, (she had just been in the library), and she wanted to get to herroom and unload them as fast as possible. They were biting into her shoulder, and she could feel her posture being ruined with every step she took. But when Lily rushes she tends not to pay attention around her. That is why she did not see the impending person.

They both appeared to be rushing and hit each other at full force. Lily flew backwards, the contents of her bag spilling everywhere. She rubbed her shoulder, which seemed to be shocked at the sudden loss of weight.

"I am so sorry!" Spoke a familiar voice. Lily looked up. Standing above her was a fairly tall boy around her age. Her had dirty blonde hair, icy blue eyes and a sharp nose. Lily recognized him as Braeden Ashby, he was in her year and some of her classes. He was in Ravenclaw. He was always answering questions, that was how she knew his voice. She smiled.

"Oh, it was my fault. I am terribly sorry."

"Let's just say it was both our faults." He said laughing as he held out his hand to help her up after she had gathered her possessions.

"Yah, you're Braeden, right?"

"Right, and you are Lily Evans." He smiled and her heart stopped. He had a gorgeous smile.

"Yah!"

"Can I walk with you?"

"Of course!" She exclaimed almost too happily." But weren't you going the other way?"

"Well I was going to the library, but it looks as though there aren't any books left." He said eyeing her bulging bag. Lily blushed. "Plus, I'd rather walk with a pretty girl than go to the library any day." Again Lily blushed, but this time she giggled as well. They started walking. Lily was completely enraptured with him by the time they reached there parting of ways.

* * *

Rhi walked back from class slowly, unlike Lily. She was also taking the long route as so not to run into Sirius. But Sirius seemed to have predicted her plans as he was walking towards her now, with a determined look on his face. He walked right up to her, grabbed her and dragged her into an empty classroom. She shook him off furiously.

"Bloody hell, Sirius! Stop stalking me!"

"No, I like you, you like me but yet for some unknown reason you refuse to even give us a chance! There are girls in this school who would give their right hand for a date with me!"

"Then go on a date with them, and LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I don't like any of them, the way I like you. I have never felt this way about a girl. Come on Rhi, at least tell me why you refuse." He gave her a pleading look.

"It's because I'm scared, OK! I am bloody terrified!"

"Why?" Once again Rhi just shook her head and clamped her eyes shut as though denying something. Then it hit him. It had something to do with Rhi's mysterious past. The past that Rhi refused to talk about, that she would do anything in her power to avoid. He wondered, not for the first time, what exactly had happened to her before she came to Hogwarts. "Rhi, I am not going to hurt you. I swear. Come on we can take it slow. Just please give me a chance." She glanced up, shocked by Sirius Black actually begging!

"Rhi, will you go on a date with me?" He looked so cute. She fought all her head's warnings and said:

"Ok." Sirius beamed. She actually felt happier than she had in a while, though she still as always had a sense of foreboding. She leaned up and kissed him suddenly, as though kissing away her doubts. She pulled away, still in his arms. But this time she did not run. "But you're paying!" She laughed and he hugged her.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow ok that chapter took a long time for me and it is certainly not my longest. I promise my next chapter will be longer, even if just by a word. Lol. There is some obscure foreshadowing in this chapter, and by obscure, I mean very obscure. So again sorry for the wait and I am even sorrier to admit that the next chapter will probably take longer. I have exams in the next couple week, and I must devote all my spare time to shudder studying. So writing will, unfortunately lower down on my list of priorities. But the good news is that I get like a week off after exams so hopefully, if the next chapter is easier to write than this one, I'll get it done then!

To The Original Safety Pin: I cannot thank you enough for the extraordinary review. Not only was it funny, and fun to read, but it also was so nice. I can't tell you enough how much it helped. Whenever I needed some motivation writing, I would read your review and it would remind just who I was writing for. To me it was worth 100 reviews! Thank you thank you thank you!

On the subjects of reviews! Lol. Please review, it helps so much!! Even if you've already reviewed I would love to hear what your thoughts on this chapter were. But please refrain from flames although I always enjoy some good old-fashioned constructive criticism.

PLEASE REVIEW!


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